Ahh, the 4th day of the month of July.

The day on which rednecks raise their weapons high above their heads, little kids throw firecrackers at each other, small fires erupt, and great barbecue is feasted upon.

Oh, 'tis a day that 'Murica loves and forever will cherish.

Happy birthday to you, land of the free and home of the brave. And the all-you-can-eat buffet.

And to those of you who live in the lands of not-America, have a nice a day.